请王敖兄指点。作者: 王敖 时间: 2007-8-4 13:09
指教不敢当，他的诗我从来不敢掉以轻心，我一般是只读不翻译。
这几首先收藏，有时间切磋一下。 莫急。作者: 太上老军 时间: 2007-8-4 13:09
Looking Across the Fields and Watching the Birds Fly
Among the more irritating minor ideas
Of Mr. Homburg during his visits home
To Concord, at the edge of things, was this:
To think away the grass, the trees, the clouds,
Not to transform them into other things,
Is only what the sun does every day,
Until we say to ourselves that there may be
A pensive nature, a mechanical
And slightly detestable operandum, free
From man\'s ghost, larger and yet a little like,
Without his literature and without his gods . . .
No doubt we live beyond ourselves in air,
In an element that does not do for us,
so well, that which we do for ourselves, too big,
A thing not planned for imagery or belief,
Not one of the masculine myths we used to make,
A transparency through which the swallow weaves,
Without any form or any sense of form,
What we know in what we see, what we feel in what
We hear, what we are, beyond mystic disputation,
In the tumult of integrations out of the sky,
And what we think, a breathing like the wind,
A moving part of a motion, a discovery
Part of a discovery, a change part of a change,
A sharing of color and being part of it.
The afternoon is visibly a source,
Too wide, too irised, to be more than calm,
Too much like thinking to be less than thought,
Obscurest parent, obscurest patriarch,
A daily majesty of meditation,
That comes and goes in silences of its own.
We think, then as the sun shines or does not.
We think as wind skitters on a pond in a field
Or we put mantles on our words because
The same wind, rising and rising, makes a sound
Like the last muting of winter as it ends.
A new scholar replacing an older one reflects
A moment on this fantasia. He seeks
For a human that can be accounted for.
The spirit comes from the body of the world,
Or so Mr. Homburg thought: the body of a world
Whose blunt laws make an affectation of mind,
The mannerism of nature caught in a glass
And there become a spirit\'s mannerism,
A glass aswarm with things going as far as they can.
PETER QUINCE AT THE CLAVIER
I
1 Just as my fingers on these keys
2 Make music, so the self-same sounds
3 On my spirit make a music, too.
4 Music is feeling, then, not sound;
5 And thus it is that what I feel,
6 Here in this room, desiring you,
7 Thinking of your blue-shadowed silk,
8 Is music. It is like the strain
9 Waked in the elders by Susanna;
10 Of a green evening, clear and warm,
11 She bathed in her still garden, while
12 The red-eyed elders, watching, felt
13 The basses of their beings throb
14 In witching chords, and their thin blood
15 Pulse pizzicati of Hosanna.
II
16 In the green water, clear and warm,
17 Susanna lay.
18 She searched
19 The touch of springs,
20 And found
21 Concealed imaginings.
22 She sighed,
23 For so much melody.
24 Upon the bank, she stood
25 In the cool
26 Of spent emotions.
27 She felt, among the leaves,
28 The dew
29 Of old devotions.
30 She walked upon the grass,
31 Still quavering.
32 The winds were like her maids,
33 On timid feet,
34 Fetching her woven scarves,
35 Yet wavering.
36 A breath upon her hand
37 Muted the night.
38 She turned --
39 A cymbal crashed,
40 Amid roaring horns.
III
41 Soon, with a noise like tambourines,
42 Came her attendant Byzantines.
43 They wondered why Susanna cried
44 Against the elders by her side;
45 And as they whispered, the refrain
46 Was like a willow swept by rain.
47 Anon, their lamps\' uplifted flame
48 Revealed Susanna and her shame.
49 And then, the simpering Byzantines
50 Fled, with a noise like tambourines.
IV
51 Beauty is momentary in the mind --
52 The fitful tracing of a portal;
53 But in the flesh it is immortal.
54 The body dies; the body\'s beauty lives.
55 So evenings die, in their green going,
56 A wave, interminably flowing.
57 So gardens die, their meek breath scenting
58 The cowl of winter, done repenting.
59 So maidens die, to the auroral
60 Celebration of a maiden\'s choral.
61 Susanna\'s music touched the bawdy strings
62 Of those white elders; but, escaping,
63 Left only Death\'s ironic scraping.
64 Now, in its immortality, it plays
65 On the clear viol of her memory,
66 And makes a constant sacrament of praise.
The High-Toned Old Christian Woman
Poetry is the supreme fiction, madame.
Take the moral law and make a nave of it
And from the nave build haunted heaven. Thus,
The conscience is converted into palms,
Like windy citherns hankering for hymns.
We agree in principle. That\'s clear. But take
The opposing law and make a peristyle,
And from the peristyle project a masque
Beyond the planets. Thus, our bawdiness,
Unpurged by epitaph, indulged at last,
Is equally converted into palms,
Squiggling like saxophones. And palm for palm,
Madame, we are where we began. Allow,
Therefore, that in the planetary scene
Your disaffected flagellants, well-stuffed,
Smacking their muzzy bellies in parade,
Proud of such novelties of the sublime,
Such tink and tank and tunk-a-tunk-tunk,
May, merely may, madame, whip from themselves
A jovial hullabaloo among the spheres.
This will make widows wince. But fictive things
Wink as they will. Wink most when widows wince.作者: 太上老军 时间: 2007-8-4 13:09
关于第一首诗我有几个问题，贴出来后一直没有人回答我
4、“太宽广、太绚丽，绝不仅是宁静，/太像思想而不能不被思考”原文“Too wide, too irised, to be more than calm,/Too much like thinking to be less than thought”，后句显然是“too…to”结构，但前句从context来看，我觉得不应该作为“too…to”结构处理，而应当视为并行的三个修饰语，这样理解对吗？
另外，“ less than”有“小于, 绝不”之意，我考虑良久决定取后者，这样处理thought自然也被作为过去分词而不是名词，是不是合理？
5、“我们思考，不管太阳照或不照。/我们思考，如风在原野上掠过池塘的水面”原文“We think, then as the sun shines or does not./We think as wind skitters on a pond in a field”中两个“as”，根据上下文和直觉，我分别理解成“当”和“如”，但不知是否有明确的标志区分开这两种意思？我总结了一下，觉得前句中“the sun”更强调当前存在之物，而后句中“a pond”与“a field”全是虚指，这可不可以视为一个区分的标志？
另外，“then as”中then到底起什么作用？
6、“好让人能够清楚地解说”原文“accounted for”我不是太有把握。
7、“精神来自世界的身体，或如/洪堡先生所想：世界的身体”原文“The spirit comes from the body of the world,/Or so Mr. Homburg thought: the body of a world”，the world与a world到底有何差异？在翻译中有没有必要表现出来？