My Questions
Years ago I resigned my job as a teacher and came to Shanghai to pursue my dream of being an “artist”. It’s been nearly four years since I quitted and started to immerse myself in reading and art creation. During these four years, besides the bitterness and happiness brought by the process of creation, I also felt a kind of anxiety, absent-mindedness and upset. And as I got older, such feelings became even stronger, which affected my learning and creation processes. I become aware that I must take a break, to figure out the problems that bother me and gain more insight into myself.
What are these problems indeed? What’s the root cause? How to tackle these problems?
I decided to make the process of meditation and problem-solving a work, which could be divided into 3 phases: 1. Meditation and problem presentation; 2. To manifest the problems in public space and explore possible factors and solutions in a variety of forms including symposium; and 3. To pay attention to myself, facing the problems directly and trying to solve them.
Li Mu 2010.8
我什么时候才能参加卡塞尔文献展？
When can I particpate in Kassel Documenta?
要，还是不要孩子？
Should I have a child or not?
会有画廊和我签约吗？
Will a gallery sign the contract with me?
对于父母来说，我真的很自私吗？
Am I really selfish to my parents?
7th Asia-Europe Art Camp – Art Workshop for Visual Arts 2009/2010 moved, mutated and disturbed identities
an international post-master programme
organised on the occasion of the Luxembourg pavilion at Expo2010 Shanghai (CN)
Workshop leaders: Blocher Sylvie, di Felice Paul and Hu Jie Ming
Curatorial coordinators: Ciric Biljana and Bernardini Fabienne
Programme:
Residency: 26 August – 9 September 2010
Opening reception 2 at DDM warehouse, 570 West Huaihai Road, Shanghai: Tuesday 7 September 2010, 19:00
Exhibition at DDM warehouse, 570 West Huaihai Road, Shanghai: Tuesday 7 September to Sunday 10 October 2010
The discussion on identities will start early August with the project of the Shanghai based artist Li Mu along the street on the glass facade of the art centre ddm warehouse. The project entitled My Questions constitutes an open format for discussions related to identities, duties, contradictions and barriers of the contemporary artist who is a part of society.
1.2010年8月，我带着这些问题去了中国青海玉树的拉布寺，请教索南单叶师父。
录像 25分钟 video 25min
李牧：两年前，我辞掉了工作，到上海做一个自由艺术家。
我告诉自己：能不能成名不重要，作品能不能卖钱也不重要。
可既然是一项工作，我总还是希望能参加好的展览。
国际上有一个很棒的展览，叫卡塞尔文献展，
如果被邀参加这个展览，就意味着你是一个出色的艺术家。
我告诉自己：不要去想能不能参加这个展览，只要把作品做好就行，
别太在乎名或利了。
然而，在我心里却总有一个声音在问：我何时才能参卡塞尔文献展？
Li Mu: I resigned my work 2 years ago and came to Shanghai to be a freelance artist.
I told myself: It doesn’t matter if my work can earn me fame or fortune.
But since I chose it as a career, I looked forward to participate in great exhibitions.
Kassel Documenta is a prestigious international art exhibition.
The invitation from Documenta means you’re recognized as a great artist.
I told myself: Don’t worry about that. Just focus on the work.
Don’t be too obsessed with fame or fortune.
However, there’s always a voice lingering deep in my mind: When can I participate in Kassel Documenta?
和尚：你的理想特别有意思，
从迷信上说这要靠你的缘分，理性上说要靠你自己的本事。
高原地区的藏传佛教，
把这些有民族特色的艺术带到展览上去，
你会有好的结果，
这是我自己的想法。
可能在那些展览上很少出现有这种民族文化特色的作品吧？
还有这里的风景，都是很适合的题材。
Monk: Your dream is quite interesting.
Superstitiously speaking, it depends on your fate. Rationally speaking, it depends on your capacity.
I think good results will be achieved if you bring the plateau’s characteristic art of Tibetan Buddhism to be exhibited.
I guess such work is rarely displayed, right?
Also, the landscape here is a great subject.
李牧：师父怎么想？
Li Mu: What does the master think?
和尚：师父的意思也就是我刚才说的那样，
把藏传佛教和这里的民族特色带到展览上去，
肯定会有好的结果。
Monk: Master agrees with what I just said.
Good results will be seen if you bring Tibetan Buddhism and plateau’s characteristic art to the exhibitions.
李牧：辞掉工作，我就没有收入了，
我的作品也很难卖掉。
我想要做一些对人有帮助的而不是好卖钱的作品，
当然，生活就会很拮据。
我常常因此陷入矛盾之中，是否该去做一些好卖钱的作品？
还是坚持我的理想，做具有建设性、探索性的作品？
什么时候会有画廊来代理我的作品？
因为那样的话，我就不必担心经济问题了。
我为之困扰，觉得不该想这个问题，
穷一辈子也没什么
可又一转念：如果我的作品能卖钱就好了。
Li Mu: After resignation, I have no income.
My work barely sells.
I want to create work helpful to others instead of merely pleasing the market.
But that’ll lead to a hard life.
I am often caught in dilemma. Should I make something which can be easily sold?
Or should I stick to my dream and focus on work more constructive and experimental?
When will there be a gallery to represent my work?
If so, I no longer need to worry about financial issues.
I feel confused. On the one hand, I don’t think this should be a problem.
Being poor is not a very big deal.
But on the other hand, I also feel it would be good if my work sells well.
和尚：师父说：你要克服困难，一定要做进去！
把具有藏族特色的风景、生活方式带到上海去，
无论你用何种方式。
克服困难，做下去，
你以后会有好的结果。
做事情都会有困难的，这不是简单的事情，
你要坚持。
Monk: Master said you have to truly concentrate to overcome difficulties.
You should bring the landscape and lifestyle of Tibet to Shanghai,
no matter how you do it.
Despite all the difficulties, just move on.
Good results will be achieved.
Whatever you do, you’ll encounter difficulties every now and then.
Nothing is simple. You need to hold on.
李牧：今年我36岁，结婚已经6年了。
因为一直没有富余的钱、时间和精力，我们就没有要小孩儿。
现在，我和我夫人都在考虑是否该要个小孩儿了？
我父母自然是特别希望我们能有个孩子，
我夫人并不是很想有小孩儿，
我是喜欢小孩的。
可我的经济状况……不好，也没有太多时间照顾小孩儿。
我在犹豫：要还是不要小孩？
Li Mu: I’m 36-year-old and have been married for 6 years.
Due to lack of money, time and energy, we don’t have child.
Now my wife and I are considering if we should have one now.
My parents hope we could have one soon,
but my wife is not that into the idea.
I like children.
But my financial status…is not good. And I don’t have much time taking care of children.
I wonder: should I or should I not have a child?
和尚：师父说：你应该要个孩子。
在这个世界上，所有的动物都不可能养不起它的孩子，
你的想法是错误的。
你们汉族人不也讲要有个后代嘛。
Monk: Master said: you should have a child.
In this world, all animal can afford to feed its offspring.
You way of thinking is wrong.
You Han people also emphasize on the importance of posterity.
李牧：因为没有工作，我就没法儿给父母什么钱，
我的父母都六十多岁了。
每次往家打电话，他们都抱怨、责怪我，
说我走错了路，
应该多挣钱孝敬父母，而不是去做自己的艺术。
甚至他们说：“你是自私的。”
这让我很难受，
我认为我做的艺术是很有意义的，
却不能带给父母丝毫的好处。
我自问：我真的很自私吗？
Li Mu: Since I have no job, I cannot give my parents much financial support.
Both my parents are in their 60s.
Each time I call them, they would complain and blame me.
They think I’ve chosen a wrong route of life.
They think I should earn more money to perform my filial duty instead of focusing solely on my art.
They even said: “You are selfish.”
It makes feel sad.
I think the art I make is very meaningful,
but it cannot benefit my parents in any way.
I asked myself: Am I really selfish?
和尚：师父说：你不自私。
因为你的父母已经老了，
他们是旧时代的人，你是新时代的人。
父母为你操心，这很自然。
不同时代的人想法是不同的，
你帮助父母也是应该的
你先把你的事业做好，之后再帮助父母。
Monk: Master said: you are not selfish.
As your parents grow old, they belong to the old era.
But you belong to the new era.
It’s natural that your parents are worried for you.
Different generations think differently.
You’re obliged to help and support your parents.
You should establish your career first and then help your parents.
李牧：师父，我在做艺术的过程中，有时候能做出好的作品，自觉很有才华，
可有的时候做不出好作品，我就很自卑。
我常常问自己：我是一个没有一个没有才华的艺术家吗？
Li Mu: Master, when I make art, sometimes I create something brilliant, and I feel myself talented.
But sometimes I just can’t create anything good, and I feel depressed.
I often ask myself: Am I an artist with no talent?
和尚：师父说：你这才开始，坚持下去，克服困难！
以后，你会越来越有才华的。
如果因为有难处，你就想放弃，那是一个错误的想法。
Monk: Master said: it’s just a beginning. Hold on! Overcome all difficulties.
Afterwards, you’ll become more and more brilliant.
If you surrender in the face of difficulties, that’ll be a wrong decision.
李牧：我很喜欢佛教，有时候读些禅宗的书。
我特别向往禅宗大师、仁波切的智慧，还有他们的平静的内心。
通过了解这些，我的艺术发生了很大改变。
我甚至会问自己：我会出家吗？
Li Mu: I like Buddhism and read some books about Zen.
I admire Zen masters, Rinpoche’s wisdom and their inner peace.
The growing knowledge of these subjects caused huge changes in my art.
I even asked myself: will I become a monk?
和尚：你会出家吗？
那你妻子怎么办？
Monk: Will you become a monk?
What will happen to your wife then?
李牧：这是个问题。
我父母肯定会很伤心，
我夫人也会，
世俗的许多东西我得放下，可能……一下子我还难以做到。
然而，我又非常向往这样的境界
Li Mu: That’s a question.
My parents will feel heartbroken.
So will my wife.
I can give up a lot of worldly thinks, probably…but not so soon.
Nevertheless, I do look forward to such a spiritual state.
你的文化程度……看样子比较好，是吧？
Monk: What master means is
if you choose to become a Buddhist, you’ll have a way to overcome the upcoming difficulties and sufferings.
Such capacity is gained by the fate of your previous life rather than pure luck.
It is a result of a special cause.
If you choose to become a monk, you have to consider the feelings of your wife and cannot abandon her at will.
If you do, it is a sin that you commit and will bring about bad consequence.
You need to consider and decide from the perspective of Buddhism.
According to the Buddhist doctrine: Set your mind at ease. Take you time and take it easy.
As long as you set your mind at ease, you won’t be bothered by worldliness.
Buddhism places an emphasis on fate. You cannot abandon your wife for marriage means you both share the belief that you are the one to each other.
It is fate that bring you together.
I guess you’re well educated, right?
李牧：还可以。
Li Mu: Kind of.
和尚：以前是……
Monk: You used to be…?
李牧：大学老师。
Li Mu: A college teacher.
和尚：现在有很多佛教的经书，能看到的你可以先看看，由此了解佛法。
如果你想通了，有意于修行佛法，当你有所感觉的时候就可以入佛门了。
汉传佛教也好，藏传佛教也好，两者一样，没什么区别。
进入佛门后，如果将来遇到苦难的时候，会有特殊的克服的力量。
Monk: There’re many books on Buddhism. You can choose some to read to get a general idea of Buddhism.
If you think it through and intend to practice Buddhism, when you get the feeling you can convert to Buddhism.
Han Chinese Buddhism and Tibetan Buddhism are by nature the same.
When you become a Buddhist, you’ll be empowered to tackle any upcoming dreadful ordeal.
