奇异的春天（上）

girldoe

<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-hansi-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">奇异的春天</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;<p></p></font></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">一</span><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman"><br/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">发现</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">第一次发现我是在一个中午，我家附近的花园里木槿盛放，高大如一面挂满紫红色花朵的碧绿的墙。我骑车经过那里，风从木槿墙的另一面吹过来。木槿是没有香气的，可我却分明嗅到了，可能是阳光的气味，可能是书页的气味，也可能是别的什么。那些都不重要了，我发现了自己。那一年，我发现了很多。</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.75pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">其实我并不确定是哪一年，只记得我在重读安徒生，听着《</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman">The Wall</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">》做期末复习，而整个夏天我只听“这是一个恋爱的季节，空气中都是情侣的味道，孤独的人是可耻的……”，每当这个时候，汽车们就拥堵在长安街上，那里霓虹闪烁。我不确定那是哪一年，也不确定自己都做了什么，我好象忽然发现了图书馆，忽然爱上日落，忽然迷茫起来。</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.75pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">我把时间的书架碰倒了，我把记忆搞乱了，但只有一件事我总也弄不乱，就是一个小男孩的死。他死的时候以有</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman">16</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">岁了，也许是</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman">15</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">岁，总之他死了，在我印象里，他永远都是在幼儿园里呼喊着要妈妈的小男孩，我都不在幼儿园哭了，他却在哭。他死于年轻冲动，那是件多么惆怅的事情啊。我们原是在一个初中，等我们上高一的时候他就死了。有人在哭，有人在哭。这不是我第一次了解死亡的意义，但却是最鲜明的一次。那一年我</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman">16</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">岁，柔软的</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman">16</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">岁，脆弱的</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman">16</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">岁，不快乐的</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman">16</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">岁，此后的</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman">17</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">岁和</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman">18</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">岁也都不快乐。那件事被我当成</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman">16</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">岁的起点，虽然我对他的全部认识仅仅是一个哭着要妈妈的小男孩。</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.75pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">之后的事情就很清晰了，我在某一年的期末语文考最高分，又在次年的期末考最低分。我找到了扣响心扉的音乐，当痛苦消失的时候就将它束之高阁。我有了新朋友，又不停的失去他们，多年以后我见到其中的一位，发现她和</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman">16</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">岁时没有差别。我想我错了，我从未得到也从未失去，又或者，得到和失去本身就不对。</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.75pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">时间就这么过去，从前仿佛被扔在一口大锅里熬煮，我盛了一碗汤，那里有一年前的味道，有十年前的味道，又好像有十五年前的味道。现在我还在不停地往这口锅里添东西，就这么熬呀熬呀熬呀熬呀熬呀熬呀熬呀……</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.75pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">就这么熬成了大人。做学生时读过一个故事，里面的小孩子想大人都是坏的，而小孩子总是要长大的，所以自己终究都是要变坏的。这让我无比恐惧，直到有一天，一个还没高过餐桌的小家伙叫我阿姨，这恐惧便忽然消散了。我终究还是长大了。</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;<p></p></font></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">二</span><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman"><br/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">闪念</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">死亡的第一个闪念发生在九岁，那应该是初夏，放学后我一个人在荒寂的校园里游走。从操场到锅炉房，从防空洞到传达室，从楼道的这一头到那一头。教学楼很长，原本是不很长的，但是赶上</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman">80</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">年代初的生育高峰，所有班级都扩充到</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman">50</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">人，学校就在旧楼的边上加盖了新楼，于是就有了近二百米的楼道。这边一个窗子，那头一个窗子，中间是悠长逆光的楼道。我九岁时最大的享受就是在放学后空荡的楼道里游走，从这一头到那一头。夕阳的余辉从楼道尽头的窗子里照进来，在地面和墙壁上留下长长的光，从幽暗走进光辉，细小的尘埃在狂舞，我的思绪也跟着狂舞起来。外面是骑自行车的人，他们按着车铃我却什么都听不见，这时候九岁的心了解了寂寞，也想起了死亡。在死的时候，我们会不会觉得无比寂寞，这人生最后的几步总要独自走完。那时候我不知道谁会死去。</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">那一年冬天，常在放学路上给我讲各种故事的女孩子在家门口</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">被卷进大卡车，脑浆迸裂。那以后我们再也不去她家附近的大雪山滑梯玩耍。大家传说小女孩的妈妈就此疯掉了，多年以后又传说她妈妈生了个小男孩。这之后的春天，北京刮了一场风，风呼啸着在马路边积了厚厚一层金黄的沙，对于我，这一切前所未见。</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;<p></p></font></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">三</span><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman"><br/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">十岁</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">清明是我外祖母的祭日，她确是在那天的凌晨去世的。那时候我被母亲安排在她同事家里，我和她同事的女儿是要好的朋友，那晚她告诉我她家的猫到了晚上眼睛会发光，我们熄了灯却找不到她的猫了，于是失望的睡去。第二天依旧是挖蚂蚁窝摘牵牛花，到了傍晚爸爸才来接我回家，他的胳膊上带着黑沙。我的母亲从此成了孤儿。我知道，总有一天所有人都将成为孤儿。</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">那之后是我的十岁生日，可谁还有心情庆祝呢。哈利·波特在十岁生日那天收到霍格瓦茨魔法学校的入学通知书，我在十岁那年收到众多记忆的珍珠。我不知道十岁是不是一个特殊的年份，那一年好像树干上最大的眼睛，无论我长多大走多远都能看到他们，只是不再有眼泪，欢笑的和悲伤的都不再有了，仿佛在沙漠中风干的动物，留下一个繁华的痕迹。</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">初夏的时候，就发生了那件事情，我们的大马路上停了好多军车。一个绚丽的傍晚，我家旁边的军队大院里还往外飞直升机。全小区的人都出来观看，阳台上，屋顶上人声鼎沸。晚霞中，直升机旋翼掀起巨大的气浪，吹得人头发飞舞。它们慢慢升空，飞向城里。在通往城里的重要道路上，大学生驻守在那里，打牌、唱歌、欢呼，还在飞驰的卡车上向我伸出胜利的手势，可我觉得傻死了。</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">夏天，妈妈把我带到少年宫，找到了杨老师，他问我你想学二胡还是琵琶还是古筝还是扬琴？因为妈妈叮嘱过我学扬琴，我就说扬琴。直到现在我手腕的灵活度还算凑合，只是做轮子恐怕不行了。</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">秋天的时候我和区少年宫一位拉二胡的姐姐去市少年宫参加比赛。我给她伴奏《赛马》。我们在少年宫呆了一天，我穿着红裙子。院子里有好多弹着各种民族乐器的小朋友，还有大人。我们练了会儿琴就跑去游乐场玩耍。那里有个巨大的攀登架，有转圈的过道，有带木板的锁链桥，有高高的瞭望台，还有巨大的螺旋滑梯。在古典的红色大殿里有解放军叔叔整齐的地铺，殿外，一群年轻的士兵在擦枪，我在一边看，那枪擦得真光亮。多年以后再去市少年宫，我再也找不到那些高大的攀登架了，只看到一些无聊的小滑梯，似乎那里从来就没有过大型的设施，当年簇新的红色大殿忽然老旧了许多，里面没有整齐的褥子，倒是有很多穿着红色练功服的小朋友在跳着欢快的舞蹈。但我可以用我的名誉担保，那里的确有很高很高的攀登架，我和无数小朋友在上面玩耍过，我站在最高的瞭望台上俯瞰过整个院子，爸爸在下面看上去很远。而我实在不明白，那些光亮的红柱子为什么忽然变得如此衰老。</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">学期末最后一天，讲评试卷，我迟到了，老师说快进来大家在等你。这一年就这么过去了。那年我还吃了好多</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman">5</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">毛钱的牛肉火烧、</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman">3</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">分钱的冰棍以及数不清的话梅糖。十岁的一切似乎都是从那场我前所未见的沙尘开始的，他乘着西北风一路呼啸，在马路边积起厚厚的一层金黄的细沙。</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;<p></p></font></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;<p></p></font></span></p><p></p><p></p>

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-4-7 23:00:57编辑过]

鳜膛弃

<p>单独看某些句子是非常地不错，但作为整体的作品还是没有掌控好。</p><p>“<span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'mso-hansi-font-family:\'mso-ansi-language:en-gb;">学期末最后一天，讲评试卷，我迟到了，老师说快进来大家在等你。这一年就这么过去了。那年我还吃了好多</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: en-gb;"><font face="Times New Roman">5</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'mso-hansi-font-family:\'mso-ansi-language:en-gb;">毛钱的牛肉火烧、</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: en-gb;"><font face="Times New Roman">3</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'mso-hansi-font-family:\'mso-ansi-language:en-gb;">分钱的冰棍以及数不清的话梅糖。十岁的一切似乎都是从那场我前所未见的沙尘开始的，他乘着西北风一路呼啸，在马路边积起厚厚的一层金黄的细沙。”</span></p><p><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'mso-hansi-font-family:\'mso-ansi-language:en-gb;">这个结尾我喜欢。</span></p>