- 最后登录
- 2019-4-16
- 在线时间
- 386 小时
- 威望
- 630 点
- 金钱
- 38674 点
- 注册时间
- 2008-1-21
- 阅读权限
- 30
- 帖子
- 489
- 精华
- 0
- 积分
- 2011
- UID
- 20319
 
|
<blockquote dir="ltr" style="margin-right:0px"><blockquote dir="ltr" style="margin-right:0px"><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-align:center"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'"></span> </p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'"> 最近生活被安排得很紧张,每天有六个小时的补课,还有同学聚会的邀请,写作,看电影和资讯,还必须面对失眠的</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">困扰。</span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">尽管如此,我依然终日被一种无所事事的情绪浸泡,随时随地都想大声叫那么一下子,然后去做点什么。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'"></span> </p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'"> 小说的进程很久没有推进了。它起初叫《暴风雨来临之前》,现在叫《后视镜》,我不知道它是否还会改名。小说的语</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">句已</span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">经被我修改过很多次,现有的部分几乎可以定型了。但小说情节迟迟无法进一步推进的事实,确确实实摆在面前。每天</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">抓耳</span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">挠腮地在写字板前坐上几个小时,不断打出一行行字又反复删去。这种进度不仅让人灰心丧气,甚至会感到一些痛苦。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">特别是</span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">,</span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">当这种事情出现在一个视写作为生活方式的人身上。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'"></span> </p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'"> 在这种生活里,阳台被赋予更多的意义。我经常靠在栏杆上,有时也会踩在栏杆之间的铁质花纹上,好让身体能更多</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">地扑向外界。午后或者夜晚的气质大相径庭,朦胧大雨中和午后阳光的气质也不尽相同。无论如何,在阳台上向下看,注视</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">一花一草的抖动,大树的枝叶被大风吹得朝一边倒去,一些小孩子骑三轮脚踏车绕着中心绕圈,一遍一遍地不知疲倦,时间</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">从阴影和金色的地面里溜走。或是,在冷色调的大雨里,看见行人打着伞,步伐急促地走向远方,虽然看不到也听不见他们的</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">心跳,但可以想象得到,没有人在这样的大雨里哼着轻快的歌谣。而我手扶栏杆,一些雨水落在手背上,我得到一些幻想,仿</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">佛此时自己没有任何姓名,只是一个在大风大浪里吹起口哨的老水手,无名无姓,从大海里生,又于大海里死,一生动荡不定,</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">伤痕累累,在一场浩劫里,怀着喜悦的心情回到母亲的体内——大海深处。那是她的子宫,永远温暖,幽静,黑暗和安详。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'"></span> </p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'"> 人活在世,总需要找寻并相信某些事物。唯有如此,人生仿佛才不会显得那么可悲和无望。如果一个人可以相信足够多的</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">东西:我们的政府,国家,社会,人与人,爱情,友情,承诺,保障</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">…..</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">那么这个人是相当幸福的。你越相信这个世界,眼里呈</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">现的世界也就越美。但偏偏是,当你打算去承担某些职务——比如说写作者——的时候,更多时候你不能相信这个世界。对于一</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">个严肃的写作者而言,这不仅是职责,更是必须的手段,通过这种手段,你才能更接近万物的真实。某种意义上,每个作家都是</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">受虐狂。写作的养分来自生活,进一步说,来自那些与你期待的事物相违背的东西。他们占领你的生活越多,写作的能量就越大。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">作为腐坏物,它们是作家一辈子都必须汲取的养分,他们无法抛弃孤独,寂寞和痛苦。只有在有些时候——比如晚风扑打在脸上,</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="margin:0pt;text-indent:17.95pt;mso-char-indent-count:1.71"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">那时我们可以容许大脑编织出一些幻想,以此获得短暂但可靠的幸福,一如寒冷的烟,轻薄却不肯消散。</span></p></blockquote></blockquote> |
|