中篇《柏拉图的洞穴》，请批评

侯珏

<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: Dotum;"></span></b>&nbsp; </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: Dotum;">21</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: Dotum; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体;"><br/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></b></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times New Roman\';">后来我一个人走到一片空旷的野地，看见远方有一道山脉，山脉向更远处延伸开去，山脉的尽头是一座高高的山峰，夕阳金色的光芒从山峰的另一边射下来，犹如天地气息汇聚云端，飞向外太空。又如苍穹破裂，泄露春光，华美无上。我想，山峰那一端定有神奇的土地，既然脚下这世界没有容我之处所，我当学习古代的英雄离开城堡，投入自然的怀抱。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times New Roman\';">我找到一块大石头，在它上面坐下来，伸手把鞋带绑了又绑，感到步履塌实以后，便向前进。走到一半路途的时候，一条小河想拦住我的去路。那小河太不自量力了，水深才到我的肚脐眼呢。走过了河流，我又翻了一座山坡，终于爬上那道山梁。那道山梁有一条曲直的小路指向山峰。我回头看了一眼身后的道路，模糊一片，便转身沿着小路继续往前走。因为途中有的地方太滑，有的地方太陡，我摔倒了好几次。弄得衣服破了几个洞，混身沾满泥土。我的脚板也起了几个水泡。快要接近山峰了，面前是一个大坡度的小山岭，我几次从上面滑退到原处，几乎要耗尽我的力气。我坐了休息一会儿。夕阳的光芒忽然之间变得稀少微弱，夜幕慢慢降临，笼罩四野。我想我不能休息太长时间，必须在天黑以前爬到山峰顶端再走下山去。我于是拔起附近的一棵白杨树当作拐杖，继续往上走。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times New Roman\';">我终于爬到山峰的顶端，那里刚好有一块石头适合我坐下休息。但是我没有坐下来，晚风终于吹起，带着浓浓的盐味，把我身上焦烫的皮肉伤口吹得无比凉爽。落日西沉，血红色的晚霞照在我的头发鼻子脸上，照到我的胸口和脚板。我以为我会走向新的世界，但是没有。一片辽阔的大海横在我的眼前，它泛着最后的霞光，慢慢变得凝重，最后归于黑暗。黑暗中出现一盏灯火，那是一只小船，船上传来珍妮呼唤我的声音。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times New Roman\';">那声音仿佛一只湿透的小纸船在海面上摇摇晃晃。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><p><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;<img height="410" alt="" src="http://bbs.gxun.edu.cn/attachments/month_0705/20070506_b24c4cb5fa299a1a83adCGA01tBPaB5L.jpg" width="600" border="0"/></font></p></span></p><p><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;<img height="410" alt="" src="http://bbs.gxun.edu.cn/attachments/month_0705/20070506_b24c4cb5fa299a1a83adCGA01tBPaB5L.jpg" width="600" border="0"/></font></p><p></p><p><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</font></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><p><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</font></p></span></p><p><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</font></p><p></p><p><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</font></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><p><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</font></p></span></p><p><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</font></p><p></p><p><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</font></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="right" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; TEXT-ALIGN: right;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times New Roman\';">（</span><chsdate isrocdate="False" islunardate="False" day="29" month="3" year="2007" wst="on"></chsdate><chsdate></chsdate><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="Times New Roman">2007</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times New Roman\';">年</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="Times New Roman">3</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times New Roman\';">月</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="Times New Roman">29</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times New Roman\';">日</span><chsdate></chsdate><chsdate></chsdate><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="Times New Roman">—5</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times New Roman\';">月</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="Times New Roman">5</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times New Roman\';">日·初稿于南宁）</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="right" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; TEXT-ALIGN: right;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times New Roman\';">（</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="Times New Roman">2007</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times New Roman\';">年</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="Times New Roman">5</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times New Roman\';">月</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="Times New Roman">17</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times New Roman\';">日修改）</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="right" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; TEXT-ALIGN: right;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times New Roman\';"></span></p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times New Roman\';"></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="right" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; TEXT-ALIGN: right;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times New Roman\';">联系：（530006）广西民族大学文学院</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="Times New Roman">21</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times New Roman\';">号信箱</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="right" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; TEXT-ALIGN: right;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: \'Times New Roman\'; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times New Roman\';">有兴趣的朋友可以与我联系啊，邮箱：</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><a href="mailto:houjuede@163.com"><span style="COLOR: black; TEXT-DECORATION: none; text-underline: none;"><font face="Times New Roman">houjuede@163.com</font></span></a><br/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="right" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; TEXT-ALIGN: right;"></p><p></p></span>

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-6-18 17:24:37编辑过]

1883

这个中篇没写好，灰头灰脑，文质全无。