巨大的数目/辛波丝卡

柏仙妮

巨大的数目

地球上住著四十億人，
但是我的想像依舊故我：
它和巨大的數目格格不入。
個人素養仍是其動力。
一如手電筒的光，它飛掠過黑暗，
只照亮最靠近的幾張臉孔，
其餘則視若無睹地略過，
從未想起，也沒有遺憾。
即便但丁也難免如此。
其他人當然更不用說了。
就算有所有的繆斯做後盾。

我將不會全然死去——過早的憂慮。
但我是不是全然活著，而那樣就够了嗎？
過去不夠，現在更是不夠。
我選擇我排斥的，因為別無他途，
但遭我排斥的比從前
更多，更密，更嚴苛。
一首小詩，一聲歎息，以難以言喻的損失作為代價。
對這如雷的召喚我以耳語回應。
我沉默地度過多少時日，我不告訴你。
母性的山嶽腳下的一隻老鼠。
生命存留的只是些許沙上的爪痕。

我的夢——即使它們未能，如其所當有的，擁有稠密的人口。
它們擁有的孤寂多過群眾和喧鬧。
有時亡故多時的朋友前來造訪片刻。
一隻孤伶伶的手轉動門把。
回聲的附件瀰漫空無。
我跑下門階進入一座寧靜
無主，已然時代錯誤的山谷。

我體內為何仍存有此一空間——
我不知道。

（陳黎 張芬齡譯）


A Large Number by Wislawa Szymborska

Four billion people on this earth,
but my imagination is the way it's always been:
bad with large numbers.
It is still moved by particularity.
It flits about the darkness like a flashlight beam,
disclosing only random faces,
while the rest go blindly by,
unthought of, unpitied.
Not even a Dante could have stopped that.
So what do you do when you're not,
even with all the muses on your side?

Non omnis moriar—a premature worry.
Yet am I fully alive, and is that enough?
It never has been, and even less so now.
I select by rejecting, for there's no other way,
but what I reject, is more numerous,
more dense, more intrusive than ever.
At the cost of untold losses—a poem, a sigh.
I reply with a whisper to a thunderous calling.
How much I am silent about I can't say.
A mouse at the foot of mother mountain.
Life lasts as long as a few lines of claws in the sand.

My dreams—even they are not as populous as they should be.
There is more solitude in them than crowds or clamor.
Sometimes someone long dead will drop by for a bit.
A single hand turns a knob.
Annexes of echo overgrow the empty house.
I run from the threshold down into the quiet
valley seemingly no one's—an anachronism by now.

Where does all this space still in me come from—
that I don't know.

（摘自豆瓣）

蓝风

我沉默地度過多少時日，我不告訴你。

陶北

喜欢。