[原创] 欲望

海蓝

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">我做了一个梦，梦里昏昏沉沉，在庭院小解，然后哗哗流出一条大蛇。我惊讶，拿来一把锄头，朝它身上挖去，它皮肉泛白，盘在那里，流着泪对我微笑。我遂又惊讶，因为它身上竟无半点血迹渗出。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">半醒半梦之间，我正站在一个城市的边缘。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">远处群山苍茫，近处灰尘弥漫，灰色的建筑物点缀这座城市。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">我常常登上天台，眯起眼睛，向远处眺望。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">我在眺望什么，我不知道。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">远处林立的房檐下有几片旗帜飘扬，漂白剂的味道隐隐向我飘来。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">我眯起眼睛，家乡的炊烟仿佛在这座城市中袅袅升起。那里有我渴求的田园味道。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">一望无垠的麦田，矮矮的麦草垛，麦场里欢快的笑声，化成缕缕袅袅炊烟，如思绪，向远方飘走。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">那年，我四岁，恍惚间，听到妈妈颤抖着声音在哀求：别这样，求你别这样，你哥不在家......</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">夜深，人静，只有卧在一旁的老牛重重的呼吸声。还有一个男人的声音：嫂子，亲亲，让我亲亲......</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">牛棚里弥漫着一股刺鼻的酒精味道。我醒来，一股液体从鼻子流出，一摸，浓稠的液体，我怯怯地：妈妈，我流鼻血了。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">一阵杂乱的脚步声，我听到隔壁婶婶的劝告和妈妈低低的抽泣。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">数天后，在外经商的父亲回来了，父亲铁青的脸，和妈妈哭肿的眼，在房间里沉默、对立。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">然后是白发苍苍的老人走进我的家门，和一对撒泼的母女。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">老人在哀求，诉说。母女在指责我的妈妈。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">后来我慢慢长大，走进一个又一个陌生的城市。城市的漂泊和焦灼已经淡漠我童年的记忆。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">有一天，相面的老人说：你的额角比较高，容易克家里的亲人。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">我问：可有解决的办法？</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">老人说：买一只白色的老公鸡，杀掉取血，滴在三个铜币上，在一个凌晨时分，撒在十字路口，让过路人拾去，可化解亲人安危。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">那时，大哥已经重病。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">我打电话回家，向妈妈诉说。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">妈妈在电话里微笑：人，哪能信那些？</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">于是我放下电话，不再牵挂。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">如今数年过去，大哥依然缠绵病塌，大嫂带着侄儿离家，父亲老去，如风雪中的枯枝，在乡村的田野里晃动。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">我所在的城市，已经再无半点田野的迹象。城市的天，像一口大锅，笼罩着我的生活，和记忆。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">再打电话回去，跟妈妈诉说梦境，妈妈在电话里依然微笑：可能是你心血热的原因吧！</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">放下电话，我泪流成行。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">又习惯的登上阳台，四处起伏的电线弥漫城市的天空，灰白的建筑如鸽子楼的风景充斥远方。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">我知道顶上是白白的太阳，可我不想抬头。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21pt;mso-char-indent-count:2.0"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">就这样凝望远方，梦中的那条大蛇依然在我眼前盘旋，我不懂它何以要对我流着泪微笑。</span></p>

[此帖子已经被作者于[lastedittime]1205279905[/lastedittime]编辑过]

陈树泳

<p>“你哥不在家。。。。。。”这个标点不规范。</p><p>这么短的小说，要么就尽量写得精致要么就尽量拓展它的内涵，而作者做得不够好。（或许我说得不够准确，大家讨论一下）</p>

海蓝

<p>谢谢X版主关注！标点已重新编辑！</p>[em23]

海蓝

另：黑蓝各位版主，我确实是因慕黑蓝版主之名而来！对于刚开始在大海里游泳，可能是狗刨式的，尽管难看，但不失认真，所以，请各位版主多多照顾，多多给予指点！再谢~[em23][em23][em23]

林思南

让叙述扎实起来,其它的先不谈.

海蓝

<p>说实在的，我确实还没学会怎样讲故事，然后就出来冒泡，是不是很惭愧~~~</p><p>还请版主多指点！！</p>[em23]

[此帖子已经被作者于[lastedittime]1205286889[/lastedittime]编辑过]

金特

<font face="幼圆">讲故事需要很高境界的，先按林思南说的做，同时加大阅读量，但少看评论，打好基础再看。</font>

海蓝

好的，听金特的！再谢谢林思南！[em23][em23][em24]