惊魂记，或天生有煞星

不有

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21.75pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">……我还是不要用戏谑的口气来谈论这件事吧！</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21.75pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">“总之</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">我的幻想总是有大量的交谈</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">事实上</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">在幻想之中</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">大部分的时间我都是在思考我要说什么而他会说什么。我觉得如果你开始了对话</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">事情都会好起来。比如说</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">那家伙怎么可能对一个刚刚和他长谈过的人做出什么坏事来呢</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">?</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">只要你让他们知道</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">你也是人</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">你也有生命</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">我就不相信他们还会继续做出那种事情</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">对吗</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">?</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">我的意思是</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">我知道强奸还是会发生</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">但我就是不明白</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">这是我实在无法理解的事情。”</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21.75pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">这是《强奸幻想》的最后一段，这跟我今天的事情有关，如果还有与今天的突发事件相联系的文学情结，那么是，在坏人走近我的多个时刻我反复在文档里敲着一句话——“木匠门，把房梁抬高些！”（他们与我最近时，是拍我肩膀不知道想拿我做什么，后被别的事情、人员吸引开。）</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21.75pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">如果小品口音先于春晚出现在你面前，如果你面对一个</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">80</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">后但却不是男不男女不女的写手，那么，可能要出岔子了……上午</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">11</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">点左右，两个操着东北口音身高一米八以上的坏人出现了，他们跺脚、拍桌子、通过控制喘气的粗重、滞浊来制造紧张的氛围，员工们被困公司，被恐吓说要打断每人的一条腿（另一个屋子里的消息据说是要每人卸一条腿，还是有差别的……）直到老板来。我们被控制了，我们成了人质……</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21.75pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">警察不可靠，老板不可靠（可他最后还是来了，并另外纠集了一伙恶势力），自己不可靠的时候，我开始在黑蓝群里说话了，也即“我觉得如果你开始了对话</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">事情都会好起来。”——这里谈话对象略有不同——先是邱雷开蒙解惑，在世界末日到来前应该做些什么？（此处请参考我的签名）；之后亢蒙等人开始了焰火表演，将谈话气氛点缀得一片灿烂，印象中先后出现在宇宙的颜色里的有“五个精子和一个卵子”、“火车”、“火车开了”等绚烂图景，其间童末小智井回李头（还有一个我还是不提</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">ta</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">吧）等先后发言。伴随着亢蒙的纯粹理性分析公司里员工的情绪也渐渐有所松动，坏人开始订外卖、吃外卖、问我们要不要外卖……此时心里百般滋味归结为徐阿姨（但她今天不在！）的一句话（大意）：外面变态人多，到阿姨怀里来！</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21.75pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">谨以此贴感谢众人！感谢腾讯！</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt;text-indent:21.75pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'"></span>&nbsp;</p>

不有

哦！我写得可真多……

袁群

<p>问题是：</p><p>春儿，你怎么啦？我才不在家一会~</p>

酒童

<p>我觉得不有怎地越来越小四了呢？</p><p>怪的很。</p>

袁群

是哪个小四？

尚方翊剑

<p>二十一世纪也是不稳定的,浮动的,不可捉摸的,外部世界和人内心都像是迷宫，我假装理解地跟不理解一样。</p>

冯与蓝

…………我能说我没看懂么…………………………

边河

我看了一遍，没懂，耶耶耶

小智

咳咳。您回家了就好。话说，今天（没错是今天）您还去上班吗？

小智

哦天呐袁群你回来了